Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
