I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
