I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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