It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
