Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
