I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
