We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
