I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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