The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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