She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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