I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
