they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
