You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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