that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
