I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
