Porn is love you can see.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Houston, we have a blender
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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