Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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