super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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