shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
