just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
