well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
