hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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