Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
