he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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