I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
