and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So apparently I’m into choking now
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