I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I am available for nakedness
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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