Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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