you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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