Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
