she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
