ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
