operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
