Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
