omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
