I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
