Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
