Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
