I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
