You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
