About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
