do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
