I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
