He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
