Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
