every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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