I want you more than these girls want KFC
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
