rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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