they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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