I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
