i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
