Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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