bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
No more Irish car bombs ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
