Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We're like a lot better than the average bears
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
