Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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